After finding out that I had developed Obstetric Cholestasis at 37+6 weeks gestation we were on our way to hospital on the day of 38 weeks to be induced. That drive was the longest 1hr of my life. I was trying to relax but was experiencing period like cramps every 8-10 minutes and a sore lower back. My body was in very early stages of pre-labour. Unfortunately due to the risk of stillbirth after 38 weeks gestation I couldn’t wait for my body to naturally do its thing and still had to be induced.
We met my midwife Sam in reception and she did all the formal stuff needed to get us up to our room. I’ve always been really nervous in hospitals, I get emotional and really shaky at the thought of the pain that could be ahead. I had a quiet moment with my husband as we waited for the doctor to come and get the process started and I remember saying to him ‘I just need you to hold me and I need to have a big cry to get these nerves out before it all starts’ which he did and I cried my fears out for a few minutes.
At about 7.30am the obstetrician came in and explained the process, she broke my waters with the long hook thing and it was like a hose turned on, all warm and in my opinion it smelt DISGUSTING! No one else could smell it but I was almost sick from it. One of the midwives put some essential oils on a warm flannel for me to wipe my face and smell it when I was feeling sick from the smell of my waters. So strange and I am yet to hear of anyone else who had the same experience, my midwife told me some women think it smells like semen, and from that moment on it’s all I could think when I smelt it!
Back to the process, my waters got broken and the Syntocinon drip was administered right away. My contractions started within 5 minutes. The first one hit me like a tonne of bricks. I would say the pain was about a 5/10, which is high for your first ever contraction, no slow steady lead up for me! I thought I would have maybe 5-10 minutes break before the next one but boy was I wrong, 2 minutes later I was hit with another 60 second long contraction. The next 2 hours went along like that, I couldn’t find a position I was comfortable in and was starting to get anxious in the breaks knowing it wasn’t going to be long before the next contraction. I grabbed the gas after 2hrs and that was helping a bit but not with the anxiousness I was feeling.
I had originally hoped for a water birth in my “ideal birth” however with the drip connected it was not an option. I had the bluetooth CTG heart rate scanner on my belly which was awesome as I could move around and even use the shower, as opposed to the old style ones which keep you bed bound, however I do remember it slipping a few times and needing to stop moving around so they could get a better position. So in the shower I hopped for some back pain relief and I also felt like I was covered in my waters and needed to wash it off to stop smelling it.
The time in the shower was relieving but I was getting so tired and emotional, every time my husband went to touch me I would mumble something trying to direct him to where I needed him to hold or push and luckily my midwife understood my mumbles and showed him what I meant. I spent something like 3 hrs in the shower, every time I went to get out my contraction was so bad I hopped straight back in. By 2pm I was emotionally and physically done. I had had no break and felt like the gas wasn't even touching the sides anymore.
It took a lot of internal battling to ask the question but I knew I needed some kind of plan at that moment. I asked my midwife to check me and tell me how dilated I was and then I would decide if I wanted the epidural. I knew that it increased the chance of more interventions, but this was not what I had expected birth to be like and all I wanted was a little break.
I was 3cm, that number broke me. I asked to get the epidural ASAP as I could not imagine another 10+ hrs of this pain if it had taken me 7ish hrs to get to only 3cm dilated with the intensity I had been experiencing! I made sure that I could turn the epidural down when it came time to push so I could use my legs and I was assured this could be done.
The anaesthetist came in about 30 mins later. Trying to get the needle in was torture, with contractions so close together it was almost impossible to be still and hunched over. I scratched Jason’s forearms up so much trying to be still for the needle. It took 3 attempts to get to the right spot (most likely due to my moving) so about 15-20 mins of that was no fun ride.
It worked like a dream though, I got to lay down and rest, have a sandwich, even started joking around with Jason and my midwife, texting my sister and best friend for an update and distraction. Jason was also so happy to have the break, it was so stressful for both of us it was nice to relax and be my normal self again for a few hours. Time flew by and next time I was checked it was 6pm and I was 7 cm, I was stoked!
At 9pm I was 9cm and we started “practice” pushing while they turned down the epidural. I held onto the back of the bed and bared down in time with breathing and followed my midwives direction. By 10.30pm I was mobile and he was ready to come! I tried pushing on my side with a midwife holding my leg but my glute muscles started cramping really badly so I moved to the floor and squatted down, the pain ramped up and I was back in fight mode so ready to be done with this!
It was 11.30pm when my midwife told me he was crowing and asked if I wanted to look, which I replied with a quick no thank you feeling it is confronting enough! Jason however shoved his head down there and looked in the mirror in complete awe. This is something we had discussed and he had said he probably won’t look, but in the moment everything had changed and he had to see what was going on. I was birthing on a toilet squatting stool which was a great position for me but I was still in a hurry to be done so I snapped at my midwife “how much longer, surely he’s almost out?” and she replied with “not long now, maybe an hour max!” in that moment I got another ring of fire contraction and I yelled out “F**K THAT '' and I pushed really hard, so hard in fact his head tore all the way out, then one breath later his body flew out as well.
I was so happy that it was over and my baby boy was here in my arms!
We were assisted onto the bed and Levi was laid on my chest where he squirmed around and cuddled in tight. I didn't think for a second that I might have torn my perineum because the whole area was so on fire I did not feel any particular area hurt or taring anymore then the rest. The obstetrician checked me and I had in fact had a third degree tare (3A). Due to the severity of the tare I needed to push the placenta out right away so I got the injection and that came out quite easily. They ramped up my epidural again and within 20 mins I was being wheeled down to theatre to be stitched up.
I was in such a daze it didn’t sink in how bad my tare had been or even that I had just pushed out a baby and left it within half an hour. Being prepped for surgery felt like it was taking a long time, I was sooo tired I was dozing in and out of sleep. I do recall overhearing the dr’s conversation while stitching me, and the head obstetrician had mentioned to the other dr that he wanted to intervene with forceps or vacuum only moments before I gave birth so that he could not be called back in to do exactly this (stitch me up in theatre). That comment really bothered me but it is something I am so grateful my midwife had intercepted on my behalf as she knew I didn’t want any instruments to help me, and they would have needed an episiotomy anyway which would have been just as bad if not worse trauma wise then the tare.
Up in the birth suit Jason had fed Levi colostrum we had bought and that was great he had 2 feeds of it and fell asleep cuddling Jason. I was back with them by 2am where we were moved to a smaller room on the palliative care floor (the hospital was very busy that night with births). Levi and I fell asleep and Jason had to go to a room downstairs as he was much too tired to drive the hour home. At 5am we woke up and I fed Levi, it was lovely. That was until I got the urge to vomit and had to call a nurse to take Levi so I could spew into a bin. My body was reacting to the morphine I had been given while in theatre. Jason came up to the room at 7am and I was sick every hour until about 10am. It was not the glorious morning I had pictured, I was given anti nausea and we waited to be transferred to Busselton hospital. This happened around midday.
And so the postpartum journey begins!
